dashed

to pieces

oh, i just can't bear it

so i'm doing whatever it takes to get banned and the responses

who knew i'd cry this hard

cédric, asking if you'd ever known the real me

i would die a thousand deaths to prove to you

i really was that productive, busy--oh, i would even have seen if i could get my transcript from EKU from before my son was born

i'd have done whatever it took to prove that i'm a hard worker

if that's what you meant--

--oh, my God, i did everything, i went to college and everything

and was torn away from it--

so why did you choose a self for me that's thirty years old? twenty-eight...

oh, cédric, did you suspect i was the kind who would crumple and die if you guided me to it?

is that why you guided me there, and told me the things to do?

i never thought that would be you, shoving my face into the sand and making me eat it

i thought you were the one who wanted to sit next to me while i stoked my fire with my platinum words

not laugh at me while i look at all

the things

you told me i must be

when all we ever did was smile together